Hades Trying To Be A Good Dad: What Are Your Intentions?
by TheOneNicoCaredForMostPercy
Summary: "Now," Hades began. "What are your intentions?" Percy stared at him, was this really happening? Was Hades really going old timey protective daddy on him? It was so comical, the idea of it, that he almost laughed. But then he remembered how much Hades hated him and he had never felt more grave in all his life. No pun intended.


"Um, hello sir, I'm here to pick up Nico."

This had not been the plan. This had not been the plan at all. The plan had been that Percy would drive down to Central Park and pick Nico up outside that Underworld entrance, then they would go to the movies and get New York styled pizza because Percy was trying to prove to Nico that it was just as good as Italian pizza. He suspected he was wrong, but he couldn't back off when Nico challenged him. After, they were supposed to go to the lit up ice rink in the Park and then take Nico to China Town. Simple, yes, but Nico had brightened right up when Percy had told him what they would do on their date so Nico would know what to wear.

Unfortunately, Nico seemed to be so excited about the date that he had told the servants in the palace, and they had told Persephone, who then told Demeter, who then told Hades.

That's when everything had gone downhill. The next day Percy had woken up to a black envelope incrusted with skeletons next to his bed. It had been from Hades telling him that he was to pick Nico up at the palace, and then go along with the date plan that Hades had spilled out to him.

Dinner at an Italian restaurant Percy had never heard of, then a Broadway show, then…well you get the picture. It was lavish and expensive and Percy wanted to throw up at the thought of going anywhere near Tartarus.

Nico had changed his mind rather quickly. When he had heard what his father had done Percy woke up in the middle of the night of the next day with a mortified, depressed Nico sitting at the end of his bed, who insisted that they not go on the date, it was too extreme, please forgive him, it was too much for a first date, it was too much for any date at their age.

The thing was, Percy _really _wanted to take Nico out, and he _really _wanted to prove to the King of the Underworld that he wasn't afraid of him or his stupid palace or his stupid realm.

So what had he done? He had asked his dad for some money. Poseidon insisted that Percy didn't have to pay him back, which Percy was totally cool with.

So he showed up at five o'clock sharp to the Underworld for his date. He had barely gone a few yards before a Fury had swooped down and grabbed him by the jacket. He spent the next ten minutes screaming at Alecto that if she wrinkled his jacket she was a goner. Surprisingly, the jacket shoulders were untouched when he was set down in the throne room before Hades and Persephone.

"Very well." Hades said coldly. "Persephone why don't you go fetch Nico. Take your time." The queen of the Underworld got up with a sigh and left the throne room.

"Take a seat Percy Jackson." A stool made from bones appeared behind him and Percy sat down hesitantly, relieved when his stool didn't come to life or hold him down or have instruments of torture attached.

Percy looked back up at the god and his blood ran cold. In his hands a black iron gun had appeared in his hands. He had a little rag in his hands and seemed to be polishing it up. Thankfully, the barrel was facing away from him.

"Now," Hades began. "What are your intentions?"

Percy stared at him, was this really happening? Was Hades really going old timey protective daddy on him? It was so comical, the idea of it, that he almost laughed. But then he remembered how much Hades hated him and he had never felt more grave in all his life. No pun intended.

"Um…" Percy said slowly. "To take Nico on a date."

"And what will you be doing on this date?" Hades asked, looking at him with never ending black eyes.

"Um…taking him to a dinner and a show." Percy said slowly.

Hades' eyes narrowed. "You don't seem so sure of yourself, nephew. Nervous are you?" a slow, manic smiled spread across Hades' face.

"Um…a god has a gun pointed at me and I'm taking his only demigod son out on a date….I'm pretty sure I have the right to be nervous." Percy sassed back angrily.

Hades raised a brow, but didn't comment on that. "Tell me…what will you do after the show?"

Percy opened his mouth to respond but Hades interrupted.

"Take him back to your apartment? Have a little tumble around in the sheets?" Percy could feel a blush painting his tanned cheeks. Oh. _Oh. _Hades was convinced that Percy would try to have sex with Nico, as soon as he realized this, Percy started spluttering.

"What-no-of course I wouldn't-" Percy babbled, the gun was being moved ever so slightly, coming closer and closer to Percy's chest. He didn't know why, because Hades could swallow him up with the stone under his feet in a second, but he was more frightened of the gun than anything else. Mortal instincts taking affect he guessed.

"So you're saying my son is ugly." Hades said flatly. "Tsk tsk Percy Jackson, I would like to say I expected better from you but I really didn't."

"What-No I mean, I think Nico's gorgeous, I mean-" Percy started to say, anxiety curling up from his stomach and filling his throat.

"So you_ are_ going to take advantage of my son's long time feelings for you?" Hades said icily.

"What? No-it's just that we haven t been on any dates and I-I mean I would never-"He was gonna puke. It was official. He was gonna vomit all over the throne floor and Hades was gonna shoot him.

The gun was pointing directly at his heart, Hades was stroking the trigger with an almost seductive manner.

"You-"

"DAD WHAT THE STYX ARE YOU DOING?"

Hades and Percy looked up from their glare off, to see Nico standing at Persephone's side, wearing a extremely well fitting black suite, so well fitting in fact, that Percy felt his mouth begin to pool with drool.

"NOTHING!"

Hades disappeared in a flash of black shadows and screaming souls.

Nico approached him frantically. "Percy I'm so sorry I didn't know that-"

Percy swallowed and grabbed Nico's hand. "Its fine, let's just get the fuck out of here." With that Percy dragged Nico out of the Underworld with a speed he didn't know he possessed.

**So I wrote a chat like this that people seemed to like so I decided to make a fic out of it. There was another one like this that people seemed to like even more so I might do that one as well.**

**Lots of Love,**

**Sarah**


End file.
